Face Plant

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Well here I am in the French Alps feeling like I have gone ten rounds with Mike Tyson..

Seasoned skiers might assume I have been involved in a lift queue altercation. Such scuffles can break out at any time when the queues are long and cheeky skiers try to push their way to the front. But in this instance, lift etiquette has been exemplary.  No I have committed the classic face plant and landed entirely on my nose.

Having spent many happy holidays skiing both on piste and off, I have had my share of mishaps. I have fond memories of bouncing down a mogul field on my head, only ten days after surgery and praying the incision wouldn’t open. Not to mention the time Husband and I ended up at the top of the Tortin in Verbier (one of the steepest and longest mogul fields in the Alps) after only a weeks skiing to our name and it took me all day to get down, crying and swearing the whole way, while sophisticated Swiss skiers whisked past us and eyed us pityingly. But today was entirely due to a rooky error – I forgot to check my bindings.

I was swooping majestically down a very wide but somewhat uneven blue run in poor visibility when suddenly both my skis stopped dead and I ejected face first downhill. I seemed to fly for ages before I landed with a loud crunch on my nose, and lay there writhing in pain.

It is always so embarrassing when friends or well wishers rush up and ask you if you are alright when all you can do is roll around in agony and say “give me a minute”.  Husband was 20 metres downhill and had witnessed my flight and landing and said admiringly ” Wow you really landed hard, I felt the ground shake!” (Note to self, weightloss is definitely on the New Years Resolution list).

Instantly all our friends rallied round fetching  my skis which were still neatly side by side pointing downhill, assuring me that my nose didn’t resemble a squashed tomato and feeding me a painkiller strong enough to knock out a horse. I then followed Husband gingerly down the slope and decided that our lunch stop would be a little earlier than usual today.

So here I am sitting infront of the fire feeling a little battered while Husband is getting my bindings cranked up. This afternoon I am going to stay inside, nurse my aches and pains and put ice on my nose which is not quite as small and narrow as it usually is.

Outside snow is gently falling and I know that tomorrow morning black eyes or not, the fresh powder will call and I will hurtle down the mountain again (with my bindings on a much higher setting).